Review: The Cooperative Harpenden

For a small commuter town Harpenden is blessed with SuperMarkets. We have:

• Waitrose (yes Harpenden is a flash town)
• Sainsbury's
• Mark and Spencers (Food)
• A Tesco (garage)
• And a Cooperative (actually two - there is one in Batford)

The Cooperative is located in the cheaper end of town - Southdown.

Its a funny old supermarket, though Waitrose, has the reputation for hiring attractive young staff, the Coop has a few cuties too (two brunettes and a blonde to be precise).

However - the food! After a few drinks, and though the Coop is small, sometimes I seem to walk around for hours looking for something nice to eat. A lot of the stuff does not look appetizing. 

Sometimes there is almost this desperate... please I need to buy something... but I just can't... someone please help.

When I am sober - I usually manage.

Perhaps the Coop needs some sort of Celeb Chef... to give a place a food vibe?

First Capital Connect extortionate fares tweet

Here are #FCC's answers to questions you asked me to raise with them about extortionate fares, poor rolling stock etc http://t.co/5oZzdyda45

— Caroline Lucas (@CarolineLucas) September 21, 2013

Theres a first class on first capital connect Ahahaha

There's a first class on first capital connect? Ahahaha

There's a first class on first capital connect? Ahahaha. Awesome. Worst trains in the world, but *do* have an antimaccassar sir.

— Melinda Haunton (@melindahaunton) September 21, 2013

First Capital Connect given five stars for improving passenger service LOL

Hahahaha! *sobs* RT @FirstCommuter First Capital Connect given five stars for improving passenger service http://t.co/gEytJJOtqm

— lisaoutthere (@lisaoutthere) September 28, 2013

Harpenden Girls look like they are from Essex

All these Harpenden people looking like they're from Essex, what are they even wearing?!?
— Bertie (@BertieB3) September 28, 2013

 To quote twitter etc...

And I agree - go to the Slug and Lettuce on a Friday or Saturday night - lots of Essex on display.

But I don't get it.

The average house price in Harpenden is almost 700,000 quid!

Home values in AL5

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The Cute Housewives of Harpenden all live in Southdown

Coming from abroad..... like most of England..

The first thing I noticed - was that Harpenden has no shortage of yummy mummy's.

The thing is though... they don't live north of the Coop - they live in Southdown. Which is great - as Southdown is the cheaper part of Harpenden (and nicer).

North of the Coop - goodness there are some tired looking things - their skin suffering the effects of nicotine induced dehydration. Those northerners are also so rude ... at Harpenden Station... always pushing in your way. For goodness sake ladies... there are PLENTY of seats!

Enough said.

A review: First Class on First Capital Connect London Bridge to Harpenden

I was privileged to experience the full glory of First Capital Connect a week or so ago.

Basically I was running late - did the middle age - desperate - office lackey - dive through the doors - as they were about to close - and sat down - and began reading the Evening Standard (did you know if you drank coffee in your youth - that you will end up a stressed out middle age cunt?).

After ten minutes or so - I noticed the train was packed - and that where I was - there were plenty of seats.

Hmmm I thought.

I looked at the floor - disgusting and dirty hmm the walls - filthy hmmm ... then ohhh ok - the seats are brown - and not faded fart blue.

Oh my God I had transgressed - I was sitting in first class - and did not have a first class ticket.

So this is how the paper pushers - at a bank - live!

Then creeping fear - what if..... one of those guys.... who clip tickets for no sane reason... asks me for my ticket.

No be bold be bold.

No-one asked me for the ticket... I survived - to write this shit review.

Ok, so in short, with First Class - you get a seat - that's it - no complementary mints or Krug - or small stale sandwiches.

What to do about the drab St Albans High Street

As discussed, in previous posts, mostly I pour scorn on the residents of St Albans. The reason - they pay a huge rail fare on good old First Capital Connect - and almost never get a seat at peak commute times.

They also look so dam desperate - when the train pulls up - like hungry seagulls flocking to the doors - fifteen of them - in their grey suites and skirts - all going for the same dirty seat.

Some accept their fate - and try and find a decent place to prop themselves up in the door wells.

Anyway...

I have to admit Harpenden is small - and like most small towns, can be claustrophobic. For instance - if you tire - of gourmet food at Waitrose - or Coffee or nick-knacks - or browsing the windows of real-estate agents... then sometimes you have to go to St Albans - for a cup of tea at Marks n Sparks - and possibly buy some quality leather shoes - made in a Chinese factory (so comfy by the way).

St Albans has some lovely streets - the High Street is not one of those.

It is drab and depressing.... so depressing.

The weekend market - drab - with little of interest - and an odor of moth balls.

Even the Marks n Sparks is run down - in need of a paint - a re-fit.

Has e-commerce inflicted these blows?

Possibly - as the surviving and thriving businesses there - include poundland and their ilk.

So what can be done?

It sounds terrible - but replacing that horrid market with a two land boulevard of trees would be a start I think.

Zebra burgers at london borough market

Hmmm poor Marty. Will try sometime but I'm laden with scottish venison today.

The timex building

I call it so because it looks like it has three clock faces on top. Possibly a reference to nearby Big Ben. However it a bad idea... Someone with more sense was out voted.

The 9:26 from harpenden to london is empty

The reason... At 9:30 we get off peak fares. So all the harpenden old folk get the next train.

But it is good news for those at St Albans - they finally get a seat for the 3 grand a year they pop on rail fares.

Elephant and castle train get off at blackfriars

Lovely day for a walk anyway. Lady sitting front of me looks like a right grump - possibly scottish.. So under that gruff exterior might lie a brave and warm heart.

What recession all go as city expands

The famous square mile... Not much spare room there.

Gloomy ole london bridge station

It is lovely and warm today so can't complain.

Cheesegrater and Walkietalkie coming along nicely

These two twin controversial buildings look like they will be complete at the same time.

Platform 6 yet another train to Charing Cross

Waiting for the train to Harpenden last night at London Bridge.

Endless trains to Charing X. Almost one a minute.

It cracks me up - endless desperate people running to jump on the train - forcing themselves through a closing door - disapproving whistle of the train guard blaring. Then a minute later another Charing X would turn up. Commuters are such middle age dummies.

Why so many dam trains to Charing  Cross... and so few to Bedford/Harpenden?