Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Well at least Richard Branson doesn't run First Capital Connect
Richard Branson's Virgin Rail - has increased fares some 210% since wining the "franchise". *Note I don't use "Sir" - I'm from New Zealand - so I don't subscribe to the class system. From what I can see - mostly - knighting is for - rich and sometimes ruthless people.
Currently it is cheaper to fly around Europe than get a train to Manchester. The really rude - thing - is that even though you drop 150 quid for the ticket - you have to pay extra for internet on the train - lousy.
In reality - I guess Virgin Rail is a separate entity - paying a % of profits into RB's corporate headquarters.
I'm not sure the figures for First Capital Connect - though First Great Western is first equal with Branson.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Review: The Cooperative Harpenden
For a small commuter town Harpenden is blessed with SuperMarkets. We have:
- Waitrose (yes Harpenden is a flash town)
- Sainsbury's
- Mark and Spencers (Food)
- A Tesco (garage)
- And a Cooperative (actually two - there is one in Batford)
The Cooperative is located in the cheaper end of town - Southdown.
Its a funny old supermarket, though Waitrose, has the reputation for hiring attractive young staff, the Coop has a few cuties too (two brunettes and a blonde to be precise).
However - the food! After a few drinks, and though the Coop is small, sometimes I seem to walk around for hours looking for something nice to eat. A lot of the stuff does not look appetizing.
Sometimes there is almost this desperate... please I need to buy something... but I just can't... someone please help.
When I am sober - I usually manage.
Perhaps the Coop needs some sort of Celeb Chef... to give a place a food vibe?
First Capital Connect extortionate fares tweet
Here are #FCC's answers to questions you asked me to raise with them about extortionate fares, poor rolling stock etc http://t.co/5oZzdyda45
— Caroline Lucas (@CarolineLucas) September 21, 2013
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Theres a first class on first capital connect Ahahaha
There's a first class on first capital connect? Ahahaha. Awesome. Worst trains in the world, but *do* have an antimaccassar sir.
— Melinda Haunton (@melindahaunton) September 21, 2013
First Capital Connect given five stars for improving passenger service LOL
Hahahaha! *sobs* RT @FirstCommuter First Capital Connect given five stars for improving passenger service http://t.co/gEytJJOtqm
— lisaoutthere (@lisaoutthere) September 28, 2013
Harpenden Girls look like they are from Essex
All these Harpenden people looking like they're from Essex, what are they even wearing?!?To quote twitter etc...
— Bertie (@BertieB3) September 28, 2013
And I agree - go to the Slug and Lettuce on a Friday or Saturday night - lots of Essex on display.
But I don't get it.
The average house price in Harpenden is almost 700,000 quid!
The Cute Housewives of Harpenden all live in Southdown
Coming from abroad..... like most of England..
The first thing I noticed - was that Harpenden has no shortage of yummy mummy's.
The thing is though... they don't live north of the Coop - they live in Southdown. Which is great - as Southdown is the cheaper part of Harpenden (and nicer).
North of the Coop - goodness there are some tired looking things - their skin suffering the effects of nicotine induced dehydration. Those northerners are also so rude ... at Harpenden Station... always pushing in your way. For goodness sake ladies... there are PLENTY of seats!
Enough said.
The first thing I noticed - was that Harpenden has no shortage of yummy mummy's.
The thing is though... they don't live north of the Coop - they live in Southdown. Which is great - as Southdown is the cheaper part of Harpenden (and nicer).
North of the Coop - goodness there are some tired looking things - their skin suffering the effects of nicotine induced dehydration. Those northerners are also so rude ... at Harpenden Station... always pushing in your way. For goodness sake ladies... there are PLENTY of seats!
Enough said.
A review: First Class on First Capital Connect London Bridge to Harpenden
I was privileged to experience the full glory of First Capital Connect a week or so ago.
Basically I was running late - did the middle age - desperate - office lackey - dive through the doors - as they were about to close - and sat down - and began reading the Evening Standard (did you know if you drank coffee in your youth - that you will end up a stressed out middle age cunt?).
After ten minutes or so - I noticed the train was packed - and that where I was - there were plenty of seats.
Hmmm I thought.
I looked at the floor - disgusting and dirty hmm the walls - filthy hmmm ... then ohhh ok - the seats are brown - and not faded fart blue.
Oh my God I had transgressed - I was sitting in first class - and did not have a first class ticket.
So this is how the paper pushers - at a bank - live!
Then creeping fear - what if..... one of those guys.... who clip tickets for no sane reason... asks me for my ticket.
No be bold be bold.
No-one asked me for the ticket... I survived - to write this shit review.
Ok, so in short, with First Class - you get a seat - that's it - no complementary mints or Krug - or small stale sandwiches.
Basically I was running late - did the middle age - desperate - office lackey - dive through the doors - as they were about to close - and sat down - and began reading the Evening Standard (did you know if you drank coffee in your youth - that you will end up a stressed out middle age cunt?).
After ten minutes or so - I noticed the train was packed - and that where I was - there were plenty of seats.
Hmmm I thought.
I looked at the floor - disgusting and dirty hmm the walls - filthy hmmm ... then ohhh ok - the seats are brown - and not faded fart blue.
Oh my God I had transgressed - I was sitting in first class - and did not have a first class ticket.
So this is how the paper pushers - at a bank - live!
Then creeping fear - what if..... one of those guys.... who clip tickets for no sane reason... asks me for my ticket.
No be bold be bold.
No-one asked me for the ticket... I survived - to write this shit review.
Ok, so in short, with First Class - you get a seat - that's it - no complementary mints or Krug - or small stale sandwiches.
What to do about the drab St Albans High Street
As discussed, in previous posts, mostly I pour scorn on the residents of St Albans. The reason - they pay a huge rail fare on good old First Capital Connect - and almost never get a seat at peak commute times.
They also look so dam desperate - when the train pulls up - like hungry seagulls flocking to the doors - fifteen of them - in their grey suites and skirts - all going for the same dirty seat.
Some accept their fate - and try and find a decent place to prop themselves up in the door wells.
Anyway...
I have to admit Harpenden is small - and like most small towns, can be claustrophobic. For instance - if you tire - of gourmet food at Waitrose - or Coffee or nick-knacks - or browsing the windows of real-estate agents... then sometimes you have to go to St Albans - for a cup of tea at Marks n Sparks - and possibly buy some quality leather shoes - made in a Chinese factory (so comfy by the way).
St Albans has some lovely streets - the High Street is not one of those.
It is drab and depressing.... so depressing.
The weekend market - drab - with little of interest - and an odor of moth balls.
Even the Marks n Sparks is run down - in need of a paint - a re-fit.
Has e-commerce inflicted these blows?
Possibly - as the surviving and thriving businesses there - include poundland and their ilk.
So what can be done?
It sounds terrible - but replacing that horrid market with a two land boulevard of trees would be a start I think.
They also look so dam desperate - when the train pulls up - like hungry seagulls flocking to the doors - fifteen of them - in their grey suites and skirts - all going for the same dirty seat.
Some accept their fate - and try and find a decent place to prop themselves up in the door wells.
Anyway...
I have to admit Harpenden is small - and like most small towns, can be claustrophobic. For instance - if you tire - of gourmet food at Waitrose - or Coffee or nick-knacks - or browsing the windows of real-estate agents... then sometimes you have to go to St Albans - for a cup of tea at Marks n Sparks - and possibly buy some quality leather shoes - made in a Chinese factory (so comfy by the way).
St Albans has some lovely streets - the High Street is not one of those.
It is drab and depressing.... so depressing.
The weekend market - drab - with little of interest - and an odor of moth balls.
Even the Marks n Sparks is run down - in need of a paint - a re-fit.
Has e-commerce inflicted these blows?
Possibly - as the surviving and thriving businesses there - include poundland and their ilk.
So what can be done?
It sounds terrible - but replacing that horrid market with a two land boulevard of trees would be a start I think.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Zebra burgers at london borough market
The timex building
The 9:26 from harpenden to london is empty
But it is good news for those at St Albans - they finally get a seat for the 3 grand a year they pop on rail fares.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Elephant and castle train get off at blackfriars
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Cheesegrater and Walkietalkie coming along nicely
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Platform 6 yet another train to Charing Cross
Waiting for the train to Harpenden last night at London Bridge.
Endless trains to Charing X. Almost one a minute.
It cracks me up - endless desperate people running to jump on the train - forcing themselves through a closing door - disapproving whistle of the train guard blaring. Then a minute later another Charing X would turn up. Commuters are such middle age dummies.
Why so many dam trains to Charing Cross... and so few to Bedford/Harpenden?
Endless trains to Charing X. Almost one a minute.
It cracks me up - endless desperate people running to jump on the train - forcing themselves through a closing door - disapproving whistle of the train guard blaring. Then a minute later another Charing X would turn up. Commuters are such middle age dummies.
Why so many dam trains to Charing Cross... and so few to Bedford/Harpenden?
Sunday, August 18, 2013
UK Working from Home because the Train is so Expensive
When Marissa Meyer of Yahoo! banned staff from "working from home" or as I call it "wanking from home" - I was in agreement. I don't think that a company can be agile - if people only connect via email. Also - for new people coming into an organisation - a strong - work form home culture - can be dispiriting - like "where the hell is everyone?!".
However - with the train fares into London going through the roof (and adding to inflation - by being capped above inflation!) - my view has softened.
Some poor suckers will shortly be paying 5 THOUSAND POUNDS - a year just to get to work (the average deposit required to buy a house in the South Island of New Zealand).
So I can understand - for them - coming in a few days a month seems reasonable.
Though - you do wonder - if the rail fares - are reducing the UK's competitiveness - by turning workers into isolated pods - connected only by legacy/expected work functions.
I believe excessive rail fares are reducing London's ability to innovate - and the cost to the economy is therefore astronomic!
However - with the train fares into London going through the roof (and adding to inflation - by being capped above inflation!) - my view has softened.
Some poor suckers will shortly be paying 5 THOUSAND POUNDS - a year just to get to work (the average deposit required to buy a house in the South Island of New Zealand).
So I can understand - for them - coming in a few days a month seems reasonable.
Though - you do wonder - if the rail fares - are reducing the UK's competitiveness - by turning workers into isolated pods - connected only by legacy/expected work functions.
I believe excessive rail fares are reducing London's ability to innovate - and the cost to the economy is therefore astronomic!
Review: Pizza Express Harpenden
You know - that nothing much happens in Harpenden - when the refurbishment of Pizza Express was enough to make the front page of the local rag.
Anyway.
It's a lovely spot - so I went there for a bite to eat.
The Pizza was nice enough - though for some reason - I found the tomato base they use - too sweet for me - and the hotter (chilli) the Pizza you order - the more sugar is added (as if sugar will temper the fire?).
The other frustrating thing - is I can tell you - no Chef was responsible for that menu - nor an accountant.
It is the brilliant work of a statistician - full of "super size me options". It really should be up for a Nobel prize.
Anyway - it's an nice clean/generic place to eat in Harpenden - and is usually packed with kids - and their accessories - the parents. The waiting staff - though are aggressively tip hungry - same as most chains.
Anyway.
It's a lovely spot - so I went there for a bite to eat.
The Pizza was nice enough - though for some reason - I found the tomato base they use - too sweet for me - and the hotter (chilli) the Pizza you order - the more sugar is added (as if sugar will temper the fire?).
The other frustrating thing - is I can tell you - no Chef was responsible for that menu - nor an accountant.
It is the brilliant work of a statistician - full of "super size me options". It really should be up for a Nobel prize.
Anyway - it's an nice clean/generic place to eat in Harpenden - and is usually packed with kids - and their accessories - the parents. The waiting staff - though are aggressively tip hungry - same as most chains.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
A lady with a Baby Stood up for me at London Bridge
A bit embarrassing.
There were no seats on the train to Harpenden tonight - except one possibly at the back of the carriage.
Just what appeared to be a lovely attractive lady - and possibly a seat to spare.
So I walk up - turns out she was busy strapping her baby to some sort of harness device. The baby full of smiles - unlike everyone else on First Capital Connect. She then stands up - and says she is getting off at the next stop.
So I end up with a seat and she ends up standing for a while - as the train ends up stuck.
How embarrassing I would have preferred to have stood until she got off.
There were no seats on the train to Harpenden tonight - except one possibly at the back of the carriage.
Just what appeared to be a lovely attractive lady - and possibly a seat to spare.
So I walk up - turns out she was busy strapping her baby to some sort of harness device. The baby full of smiles - unlike everyone else on First Capital Connect. She then stands up - and says she is getting off at the next stop.
So I end up with a seat and she ends up standing for a while - as the train ends up stuck.
How embarrassing I would have preferred to have stood until she got off.
4% Rise in Rail Fares is just Charity Folks
The poor Englishman has been brought up on the idea of perpetual charity. Every third of fourth shop on the famed High Street seems to be a charity store.
I've nothing against this - charity is backed into the psyche.
A PR Agency Transport advised secretary Patrick McLoughlin to say: ‘The taxpayer overall is contributing a lot and I am afraid that the passenger has to make his contribution. He does it as a taxpayer and as a passenger as well.’
Oh well if its for charity and lining up in a queue and its like war time stamps - then we all give in!
I've nothing against this - charity is backed into the psyche.
A PR Agency Transport advised secretary Patrick McLoughlin to say: ‘The taxpayer overall is contributing a lot and I am afraid that the passenger has to make his contribution. He does it as a taxpayer and as a passenger as well.’
Oh well if its for charity and lining up in a queue and its like war time stamps - then we all give in!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
prices on first capital connect to go up suckers
The evening standard was a bit gloomy today. Basically train fares are set to increase.. bonuses to rail chiefs also on the up.
Note to self.. become a rail chief and rip people off.
There will be some bad press, some whining, but mostly the English will just take it in their gloomy stride. There is no parking in London, the london orbital resembles the rings of saturn.. round but very rocky and lumpy.
So there is no other choice!!! got to love the free market.
Shame on the evening standard for winding me up though!
Note to self.. become a rail chief and rip people off.
There will be some bad press, some whining, but mostly the English will just take it in their gloomy stride. There is no parking in London, the london orbital resembles the rings of saturn.. round but very rocky and lumpy.
So there is no other choice!!! got to love the free market.
Shame on the evening standard for winding me up though!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
St Alban's versus Harpenden
When I arrived in Harpenden (from New Zealand I'm afraid old chap) - I ended up sleeping on a friends floor on Cravells Road.
So - without a car - well I ended up staying here - and now I've bought - in the poor part of town Southdown.
However, with the "big smoke of St Albans" down the road - should I have bought there instead?
To be honest - the shops of Harpenden are full of buzz... a moneyed buzz... a spoilt "haven't we discovered the best place to live in England buzz".... St Albans... is a bit drab . A lick of paint... and some new shops and St Albans could be great!
Sometimes though in Harpenden - you do feel trapped by the loveliness of it all. People in Southdown are so dam pleasant - the housewives are so dam nice.
I've driven through St Albans three times - once in search of a second hand bed, I got lost - and the Police ended up pulling me over. On one of the streets I saw - some white trash - praying on the footpath - surrounded by rubbish - I'm sure over the road from him was a "tinny house".
St Albans does have something called a Verulamium.. essentially a park - with a small bleak water feature - I guess a water park (the Condo in Singapore I stayed at - had a bigger and nicer one. On a hot day - it is packed - kids - and huge fat Englishmen covered in tattoos.
So yeh... I prefer Harpenden.
So - without a car - well I ended up staying here - and now I've bought - in the poor part of town Southdown.
However, with the "big smoke of St Albans" down the road - should I have bought there instead?
To be honest - the shops of Harpenden are full of buzz... a moneyed buzz... a spoilt "haven't we discovered the best place to live in England buzz".... St Albans... is a bit drab . A lick of paint... and some new shops and St Albans could be great!
Sometimes though in Harpenden - you do feel trapped by the loveliness of it all. People in Southdown are so dam pleasant - the housewives are so dam nice.
I've driven through St Albans three times - once in search of a second hand bed, I got lost - and the Police ended up pulling me over. On one of the streets I saw - some white trash - praying on the footpath - surrounded by rubbish - I'm sure over the road from him was a "tinny house".
St Albans does have something called a Verulamium.. essentially a park - with a small bleak water feature - I guess a water park (the Condo in Singapore I stayed at - had a bigger and nicer one. On a hot day - it is packed - kids - and huge fat Englishmen covered in tattoos.
So yeh... I prefer Harpenden.
All quiet on First Capital Connect
Well not too much drama this week.
Last week - though someone threw themselves in front of a train at London bridge. But apparently they didn't do a good job. The paramedics ran past me - onto platform three.
I get the train on platform 6. The train was only 5 minutes late - selfish I know. People were much lesss charitable on Twitter though - describing the situation unsympathetically and ended their tweet with a #c***
The only drama of today.... was a wet set in front of me. There was no way any of the men would sit on it. However a woman - not unlike Sarah Ferguson braved the wet seat and sat down at St Pancras.
Wet with what? I want to know - water, lemonade or worse?
She did have a lovely voice though - I wonder if she ended up with a wet bottom.
Last week - though someone threw themselves in front of a train at London bridge. But apparently they didn't do a good job. The paramedics ran past me - onto platform three.
I get the train on platform 6. The train was only 5 minutes late - selfish I know. People were much lesss charitable on Twitter though - describing the situation unsympathetically and ended their tweet with a #c***
The only drama of today.... was a wet set in front of me. There was no way any of the men would sit on it. However a woman - not unlike Sarah Ferguson braved the wet seat and sat down at St Pancras.
Wet with what? I want to know - water, lemonade or worse?
She did have a lovely voice though - I wonder if she ended up with a wet bottom.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
The suckers of St Alban's never get a seat on the train
The only solace I get from paying a ridiculous train fair from Harpenden - is that mostly I get a seat.
So I am happily reading my Metro - lost in a world of Government Propaganda (the recession is over - in fact - we are booming!! as opposed to last week - when the wheels were about to fall off) - when the train pulls up to St Albans.
What a sorry looking lot those St Albaner's are - I watch them - from the corner of my eye - scurrying about - as the train pulls in - desperately trying to position themselves - to be closest to the door - and therefore with the best chance of possibly getting that last cramped seat.
Invariably - the first through the door - is a barrel built woman - with an intense (and some would say evil stare).
I don't make eye contact - I don't want to share in someone's unseated plight.
Sometimes a skinny young corporate male - will be first - an "I'm going to be number one type". Uptight pricks that lot.
I don't care - and I don't pity them - have any of them ever complained about the "shit" train service they are getting.
Probably not.
So too bad - and don't take your frustration out on those fortunate to have seats!
So I am happily reading my Metro - lost in a world of Government Propaganda (the recession is over - in fact - we are booming!! as opposed to last week - when the wheels were about to fall off) - when the train pulls up to St Albans.
What a sorry looking lot those St Albaner's are - I watch them - from the corner of my eye - scurrying about - as the train pulls in - desperately trying to position themselves - to be closest to the door - and therefore with the best chance of possibly getting that last cramped seat.
Invariably - the first through the door - is a barrel built woman - with an intense (and some would say evil stare).
I don't make eye contact - I don't want to share in someone's unseated plight.
Sometimes a skinny young corporate male - will be first - an "I'm going to be number one type". Uptight pricks that lot.
I don't care - and I don't pity them - have any of them ever complained about the "shit" train service they are getting.
Probably not.
So too bad - and don't take your frustration out on those fortunate to have seats!
First Capital Connect says fares are sky high because they are improving the Network
The train fair from Harpenden into London is enough to take your breath away. In fact - due to overcrowding on the train - I saw a lady faint the other day. A combination of extravagant trains fares plus the unseasonable heat.
I don't get the - "we're charging you a small fortune so we can improve the network" argument!? Once it has been finally been improved - the fares will come down... hilarious bunch of suckers the commuter.
Its only a 30 minute ride into London - so for me - don't worry about improving the network - just make it cheaper and more efficient please.
Why bother improving something - if improving it - makes it more expensive.
Does anyone actually complain about the fares - I thought Poms were famous for whinging.
Perhaps everyone is too tired and gray to complain?
As an example of how ridiculous the fares are - lets compare to a much longer and less populated train route... Wellington to Waikanae (New Zealand) a month is:
$291.60 NZD or 145 pounds - the trip takes an hour.
COMPARED TO:
326 pounds....
MORE THAN DOUBLE!
What happened to economies of scale?
The reality is - its a nasty stealth tax - but no-one complains here... they have given up.
So - I would be very happy to pay 145 pounds and stand (like all the poor suckers who get on at St Albans do anyway!).
I don't get the - "we're charging you a small fortune so we can improve the network" argument!? Once it has been finally been improved - the fares will come down... hilarious bunch of suckers the commuter.
Its only a 30 minute ride into London - so for me - don't worry about improving the network - just make it cheaper and more efficient please.
Why bother improving something - if improving it - makes it more expensive.
Does anyone actually complain about the fares - I thought Poms were famous for whinging.
Perhaps everyone is too tired and gray to complain?
As an example of how ridiculous the fares are - lets compare to a much longer and less populated train route... Wellington to Waikanae (New Zealand) a month is:
$291.60 NZD or 145 pounds - the trip takes an hour.
COMPARED TO:
326 pounds....
MORE THAN DOUBLE!
What happened to economies of scale?
The reality is - its a nasty stealth tax - but no-one complains here... they have given up.
So - I would be very happy to pay 145 pounds and stand (like all the poor suckers who get on at St Albans do anyway!).
Next stop is middle age Harpenden
The first thing you notice about the commute from and to Harpenden - is the graying middle age-ness of it all.
Not complaining - but eye candy (of the female variety) makes for a more interesting journey.
Also - there is something about - welcome to Harpenden - you have arrived at middle age - welcome to the hill - which you are about to start tumbling down.
Even the First Capital Connect staff at Harpenden are middle-age. A nice bunch though.
At the last work drinks.... I caught the 1am train home.
It was wall to wall drunken middle-age males - all semi comatose - some snoring - some chortling in their sleep. I was one of them.
Not complaining - but eye candy (of the female variety) makes for a more interesting journey.
Also - there is something about - welcome to Harpenden - you have arrived at middle age - welcome to the hill - which you are about to start tumbling down.
Even the First Capital Connect staff at Harpenden are middle-age. A nice bunch though.
At the last work drinks.... I caught the 1am train home.
It was wall to wall drunken middle-age males - all semi comatose - some snoring - some chortling in their sleep. I was one of them.
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